A time with you

You have been speaking to me today in many ways. Now you bring this song back to the front of mind its lyrics rising from my heart. Just like you used them six years ago when you called me out of a small office onto that stage. Surrounded by people we didn't know. You called this family onto you. As we have talked today you show me more and more just what it means to call on your name as my Saviour, my friend, my everything.

As I watched the re-enactments of just what punishment you endured for me I weep at just how brutal my sin was on your skin. The images have made my wife cry heavily. They stunned me into a silence once more. Where Wow was about all that I could say. As tears fell down my own cheeks. I could only imagine what happened that day. I can only thank you by living this life knowing that I am not even close to be worthy but you love me anyway.

That day seems like just hours ago right now. On the stage with Steve looking at me saying it was time. I was scared to death that moment. I had not been on a stage in years. Yet when the piano and guitars started playing you gave me a voice. One I didn't know existed within me. I closed my eyes out tuning out everything but your face in front of me. I sang like it was just you in the room instead of a 1000 people in the middle of a church falling apart. You held my eyes on yours. As the second verse started I could feel you inside my soul. I let go of everything I had ever been trained on as far as stage presence. I just surrendered. I was no longer imagining you. You were there. As the song progressed to the key change and the note I knew I would fall flat on. i just kept my eyes closed singing only to you. You had me hit that note with a power and grace I had never known I had. That was the day you heard my life song. That is the day every facade melted away. When the song finished I was scared to death to open my eyes. Tears were flowing out of me like a friggin hose. I just stood there frozen in your vision.

Man you kicked my ass that day. When I opened my eyes to see some the toughest men I have ever known with their heads down tears rolling down their faces. These are the moments that you give me in this life that I cherish. It makes me imagine the day when you take me off the battlefield of this present darkness and bring me up to the party. Where I can spend an eternity with you. I imagine the faces of the loved ones you have brought up before me. What will that choir sound like? I can only imagine what it will be like to sit and talk with your brother James. The bad ass that he is. Or the rest of the warrior elite that fill the pages of scripture. I imagine the day the three of you look at me and say "Good Job my faithful servant." I pray that I am living my days to your glory and majesty.

I thank you for this day. For the questions of others that draw us all closer to knowing you. Lord you are something my imagination can't fathom at times. Yet I know in my heart you reign there. I am singing this with you again right now. May it honor all you are. To make me all you want me to be.

I love you Lord.