What do you look for as a parent

For the past few days I have watched my oldest daughter battle an ifected gall bladder to the point she had to have emergency surgery to have it removed. The one constant in all of it was her inner strength. Her pain levels may have been off the charts, she was facing a surgery she knew nothing about. Yet, when I would look in her soft brown eyes there was no fear.  None!!

As parents we try to instill into our kids values, morals, and their own independance. At times we don't want to let go, but as parents we are here to watch them grow.  The thing i look for most in my kids is an inner strength.  The type where they can walk into a pool of dung, but come out the other side smelling like a rose.  Not because their mother or I saved them.  No, they come out stronger because they faced the issue themselfs, tackled it with intelligence and strength, with a heaping dose of faith.

My daughters both have the inner strength. The oldest I see it in her eyes when dacing the unknown. My youngest I see in her stubbornness to get past things. In my son it is in the way he just lives for adventure and is never satisfied just sitting on his ass. Plus they all show it in how they rallyed around their older sister as she went to surgery and after.

I observe life and people on a daily basis, rarely do I ever look at what is right in my home. That is my character flaw. One I am working to change. As I sat for hours waiting for surgery to end yesterday I watched my oldest daughter grow up all over again, from the moment she was born and I held her in my arms, thru her toddler years, to when she first went to school, all the way up until yesterday morning. The trip was enlightening. Actually it was pretty amazing. When I was 15 like her I was pretty much hell on wheels and didn't stop the road show until I was almost 30. My daughter is far smarter, far more poised, and has far more inner strength than I did at that age. It has changed my focus on what matters and what "Chasing your dreams" really means.

Music is a huge part of my life and the families as we drove up to Santa Barbara this morning for Chey's next procedure Tim McGraw was playing. On a few songs my wife would cry. Especially when "My little Girl" played.  Tears fell down my face when "The Cowboy in Me" played.  That song is my daughter. Word for word it fits. What is even more amazing is the song fits me as well.  Granted my daughter won't be doing 219 mph on a crotch rocket, but she will audition for her dreams. She will ride and never worry about the fall. She knows in her heart the fall is what makes us stronger people.  It builds our hearts once we get up and dust off.

For those that read this as parents what do you look for in your kids setting aside the obvious? Do you look into their eyes down to their hearts and see a life coming alive? If you do, does that life bring joy to you or fear?

Surgery is about to happen again.  I look in my daughters eyes and my heart swells because I know she has her heart, her dreams, and the inner strength to ride and never worry about the fall.

S/F
Smokin Chaplain

Here is the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39TDrahPr3I