What would the title be? Finding who and what you are not?

"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ,who gives me strength."Philippians 4:10-13. 


My family and I as most of you know have had a 16 month run that has completely tested us. We lost our home, We have gone the whole time without me working. Further taking us into debt each hour. We are on a first name basis with Repossession Men and women!! We have nice conversations with just about everyone that is looking to be paid. Most of all we have done the stupidest thing possible. We walked away from "Church" for we saw first hand what it had done to our closest family friend. For the past six weeks we have seen and felt a pulling on our hearts. The kids maybe not as much but my wife and I sure have. 

This morning we listened to sermon. The verse above was a key part to it. I have Phil 4:13 as part of my next and last tattoo. This morning I realized I was using the scripture for all the wrong meanings. More as a battle cry before I went out and did things my way. Looking back at God and telling him "Follow me!!!" (Okay don't laugh so hard..) Look at what the versus prior have to say. Think about them.  I have been since reading and hearing them again. It is a great piece of humble pie!!! We have spent 16 months worrying at what we didn't have. Or how to keep what we do. That is 16 months wasted in fighting, arguing, and then trying to love through it. In actuality it has been 16 months were we learned a valuable lesson. At least I know I have learned one. 

What is the lesson?  I am still trying to wade my way through it. I do know that my focus has been so worldly that I am no different in strength than when this all started. I do know God has held us through the whole ordeal of time. I was just too damn stubborn to look at him from front for guidance. I have burned bridges. I do know the bridge between Him and those that believe never burns. He waits for us to finally hear the word breathed into us. 

Folks, I guess, I am not all that and a bag of chips!! I am just a man with a great wife, great kids. A heart full of hope for what the future may bring. That has realized what was truly missing. It wasn't money or crap loads of "stuff." I was missing the fact that the reason "I can do all things through him that gives me strength."  Is not because of my tenacity or perseverance, it is because He loves, where I give up.

I guess that is how He show us who we really are. By showing us exactly what we are not!! 

S/F
Smokin Chaplain..