How to deal

As must people that know myself and my family. Know the past year and half has been quite an adventure with some good times and some not so great. That is what life is. You get your ups and you get your downs. It is how you deal with either that are what your kids, your friends, your family see more than the initial good or bad.

Take just July to now. We have moved out of our nice home in an attempt to go work where I thought I was called to do my counseling, geekness, and a few other things. That door opened wide enough to make me think it was a all going to be sunshine and bunnies. Two weeks later all doors slammed tighter than a virgins legs at the debutant ball. Hindsight is always 20/20. Desperation created the picture. I had not walked into an office in so long I thought I wasn't working. For the most part I wasn't. I was having a blast waking up everyday and sitting here drafting short stories. Then books. Then actually putting them into the publishing process. Even though I slaughter the laws of grammar. Writing is story telling on paper. If you the reader are feeling my words. Your mind is wired to see past the slaughtervest, the made up words, your mind puts you in the middle of the words and you paint the picture from what you read. At least that is what writing should be. When it is fiction or mystery. Some people can see themselves sitting up to the bar at the Alamo, pulling back on their beer listening to the story.  Here is an injection of reality. Our family ate every day. They bathed everyday. Clothes covered their backs. All because my wife busted her ass and we have friends that love us and give when the chips are down. Most of all we have the Lord looking down on us; loving us all, as we try to stay in tune with his word and the world to come in his kingdom. NOT THE WORLD outside our door.

I got butt hurt by the screwing one of my closest friends received from church. Folks, I am kinda like a really pissed off pit bull when those closest to me are wronged unjustly. I bit into the pill of bitterness towards church. Climbed up on my cross and took my family on the ride that church as a whole is BAD!! Not religion folks. Church!! We came back from Vegas right into the garage of my mother in law. I could have taken the defeat from the "church" experience in Vegas and just become more bitter and resentful. Well funny thing happened on my way to the looney bin. In the midst of all the heartache, the utter insanity of alcoholism and stupidity .. I woke up. Men if you are a husband or a father there are some very specific rules to play by. Instead of playing by them I tried to make up my own. Instead of reading the word of God for insite and guidance on this road of manhood. I spent days trying to make scripture fit my mood. Thinking I could make God do things the way I wanted... (Okay stop laughing)

This afternoon we went to my buddy Jose's parents. It seemed the whole family was there. From his brothers and sisters to his parents siblings. After shooting some pool he left to go get some sleep before going back on another graveyard shift. We stayed behind and we were all treated like family. I talked with his mother. Then spent quite a bit of time talking with his father. It is not my place to say all that is being faced. Just know their family is facing a trial and challenge. If you are into prayer keep them in yours. Please. As family members were leaving I believe I saw something I have never seen happen outside of a Hallmark channel special. Kids hugged Pappa Jose and love just flowed. It was family at its finest. It was downright inspiring folks.

Driving home my wife and talked about the insanity that faces us each time we come into the compound here. All the while I felt the spirit rising up within me. Something I thought was gone sat on my shoulder and told me "I still love you. You still know how to love." This voice topped off a day where I learned a new word when actually sitting inside a church. Oh yeah, I go to church again. Mainly because my family and I are part of church as Christians. Yep it is that simple. If you claim the relationship you are in the fold. No matter how bitter or butt hurt.

I want to leave you with the word that I learned. "IMPRECATORY" For examples of Imprecatory verses look in the book of Psalms. Like Psalms 7,35,40,55,144. These are verses where David is asking God to rain down a can whoop ass on those that want to kill him or the people of Isreal. They are dramatically worded no matter what version of the bible you read. Cut and paste the word and go look it up in Websters 1812 dictionary. When you have the definition go back and read what I suggested. Take your circumstances when you rage. Ask yourself. When you are done raging are you ready to back up and let God do what He is going to?

Imprecatory, I like the way it rolls out my mouth when I say it. I love the definition. Most of all I count it a great joy to walk on the edge of all hell breaking loose in the compound that surrounds us. I am rich beyond what I could ever imagine. For I have been given some wisdom. I have been blessed with kids that just want to be kids. A wife that loves me when I just sit and write words on a screen or jump from planes, or just simply make her smile by loving her the best way I know how. Being imprecatory may not be the correct use of the word in the sentence. Hey here is the other blessing. I have friends that do know how to use it correctly and when they read this, I am sure they will let me know.

S/F
Smokin Chaplain